Calm Doesn’t Always Mean Quiet: Finding Peace the Neurodivergent Way

When people talk about finding calm, the first image that usually comes up is stillness. Sitting in silence. Deep breaths. A quiet room. Maybe even meditation.

And for some people, that’s exactly what works. But if you’re ADHD or autistic, there’s a good chance that kind of “quiet calm” doesn’t actually feel calming at all. In fact, it can feel uncomfortable, even stressful.

For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn’t relax the way I was “supposed to.” Sitting still just made my brain louder. Closing my eyes to meditate usually left me more restless than before. It felt like I was failing at self-care.

What I’ve come to realize is this: calm doesn’t always mean quiet. Especially for neurodivergent brains.

Sometimes peace looks like:

• Moving while listening to music or pacing in circles.

• Stimming with a favorite object or rocking back and forth until the tension in your body releases.

• Hyperfocusing on a creative project or puzzle, where the outside world fades and you finally feel regulated.

• Background noise—like a show you’ve seen a hundred times or ambient sounds that keep the silence from feeling too heavy.

• Walking outside and noticing sensory details: the crunch of leaves, the rhythm of your steps, the air on your skin.

  
  

These aren’t distractions. They’re regulation. They’re how many of us actually find our balance.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “bad at self-care” because you can’t meditate or sit in a quiet room without spiraling, please know, you’re not broken. You just need a different doorway into calm.

For neurodivergent people, peace often comes through motion, rhythm, or sensory engagement. It’s not less valid than stillness. It’s just different.

So if your version of calm looks like spinning a fidget, singing at the top of your lungs in the car, or reorganizing your bookshelf at midnight, you’re still finding peace. You’re still regulating your nervous system.

You don’t have to force yourself into someone else’s version of calm. Your brain and body get to define what peace looks like for you.

If you’re just starting on this journey, I’d love to walk alongside you. You don’t have to keep peeling back the layers by yourself. Schedule a free 15 minute consultation to get started.

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