The Self-Aware Client

Are you acutely aware of what’s wrong but very lost on how to fix it? Do you know what emotion you’re feeling and why but not what to do with it? Have you been told in the past that you’re too self-aware for therapy but still feel like you’re struggling?

That kind of self-awareness and intellectualizing can be caused by childhood emotional neglect. Emotional neglect is sometimes hard to identify and understand. It often looks like having all your physical needs met i.e. plenty of food, cool toys, clothes, etc. but a very lonely inner world.

As children, we learn from adults what’s “okay” and what’s not. Adults might have told you things like: “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”, your feelings are too much, you’re too dramatic, or you’re too sensitive. We learn that crying out for help is useless because no one comes to help us. And we learn that our emotions are too much for others, so we start hiding them. Sometimes they feel like “too much” for us too, so we hide them even from ourselves. We push those emotions deep down so we can’t feel them anymore; we dissociate from them. This creates a disconnect between our brains and our bodies, so we don’t have to feel the pain of the emotion.  This disconnect results in high self-awareness and intellectualization of our feelings without the ability to process them. The right kind of therapy can help you rebuild that connection so you can finally start processing those emotions and feeling better.

I’m trained in relational developmental trauma, and this is one of the things I specialize in. If you’re ready to try therapy again (or for the first time), let’s set up a free consult so you can get to know me and I can answer any questions you may have.