What Is ADHD? And What Does It Really Look Like in High-Functioning Adult Women?

Even as a trained mental health professional, I didn’t fully understand what ADHD looked like in adults, especially high functioning and successful women.

I knew it wasn’t just about the stereotypical little boy who couldn’t sit still. I’d hear people joke, “I’m so ADHD - oh look, a squirrel!” and I laughed along too...but I still didn’t get it.

Not until I was diagnosed in my 30s.

Not until I was working full time in a high-pressure job and started to completely burn out.

I had always been well organized, good at multitasking, great at hitting deadlines…until suddenly, I wasn’t. My old “motivation hacks” stopped working. I started crying before work, crying during my lunch breaks, and feeling like I couldn’t function. I was in full-blown burnout, and my undiagnosed ADHD was a huge contributing factor.  

Between work and home, I was so overwhelmed that I started shutting down. I lost friendships because I couldn’t mask anymore or keep up with the emotional labor. I stopped cooking, stopped spending time with my kids, and spent most of my non-working hours in bed, crying. Every ounce of my energy was going to just surviving work.

If any of this sounds familiar and you feel like you can relate, you’re not alone! Over 75% of women with ADHD are diagnosed in adulthood—usually after years of being misdiagnosed, dismissed, or overlooked. I work with adults who are just now discovering how ADHD may be shaping their lives and I’d be honored to support you on your journey. Schedule a free 15 minute consultation to find out more.

Want to know more? Keep reading...

1. Adult ADHD often presents as inattention, emotional reactivity, and mental fatigue, not just hyperactivity.

• In adults, hyperactivity often becomes internal restlessness (e.g. a racing mind, impulsive decision-making, or trouble relaxing).

• More common symptoms include: difficulty focusing, zoning out in conversations, procrastination, and feeling overwhelmed.

• Many adults describe feeling mentally exhausted, especially when trying to manage multiple roles (like work, parenting, and household tasks).

  
  

 Fact: A 2018 study published in JAMA Psychiatry found that symptoms like inattention and emotional impulsivity were more impairing in adults than physical hyperactivity.

2. Many adults are diagnosed later in life, often after burnout, parenting struggles, or a child’s diagnosis.

• ADHD often flies under the radar in childhood, especially in high-achieving students or girls who mask their symptoms.

• Diagnosis frequently happens in adulthood after:

  • Chronic work or relationship issues

  • Burnout from masking or overcompensating

  • Parenting challenges that reveal executive function gaps

  • A child is diagnosed, leading parents to recognize their own traits

    
    

 Fact: Studies estimate that over 50% of adults with ADHD go undiagnosed, and the average age of diagnosis for women is around 36–38 years old.

 3. Emotional dysregulation is a core but often under-discussed symptom of ADHD.

• Emotional dysregulation includes:

  • Difficulty calming down after emotional upsets

  • Quick frustration or anger

  • Intense responses to rejection or perceived criticism (sometimes called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria)

• These reactions are neurologically rooted, not a personality flaw.

  
  

Fact: Research from Russell Barkley and others has shown that emotional dysregulation is one of the top predictors of adult ADHD impairment, even more than distractibility or forgetfulness.

4. ADHD impacts motivation, executive functioning, and reward processing—not willpower.

• The ADHD brain has lower dopamine activity, which makes it harder to:

  • Start boring or repetitive tasks

  • Stay focused without external stimulation

  • Feel motivated without immediate rewards

• It’s not a matter of “trying harder”—it’s a matter of neurological wiring.

  
  

Fact: Brain imaging studies show differences in the prefrontal cortex and dopaminergic pathways in people with ADHD, affecting planning, prioritization, and reward sensitivity.

5. ADHD overlaps with anxiety, depression, and trauma—making it harder to spot and treat.

• Adults with ADHD are more likely to have:

  • Generalized anxiety disorder

  • Depression or mood disorders

  • A history of complex trauma or chronic stress

• These can mask or mimic ADHD symptoms, delaying diagnosis or leading to misdiagnosis.

  
  

Fact: Over 60% of adults with ADHD have at least one comorbid mental health condition, and symptoms of anxiety or depression often improve after ADHD treatment begins.

If you see yourself in any of this, you’re not broken and you're not alone. I work with adults who are just now discovering how ADHD may be shaping their lives and I’d be honored to support you on your journey. Schedule a free 15 minute consultation to find out more.

Want to learn more about how ADHD shows up in everyday life?

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